A reminder of the void left in my heart...

I finally packed up Ursa's cancer medications (herbs) to send to the Canine Cancer Awareness organization - for their supplement exchange program (for anyone who needs cancer related, over the counter supplements, etc. be sure to check them out here: http://caninecancerawareness.org/supplement-exchange)

As I tossed out her "experimental" antiplasia powder I had given her her last two weeks with us, I noticed that I was holding on the bag awfully tight before actually dropping it into the can.

I could still smell the powder, and feel my fingers squooshing it inside Martin's Potato Bread. And I vividly remember making it into a ball and throwing it into the air so she'd catch it and swallow it without questioning its content.

How she'd be so excited to get a treat, and be drooling for it!  And when I missed, how the powder would spill out all over the floor.  Then I'd be left with a hungry Ursa, a messy floor and slimy bread.

This particular memory today left me with a sadness that wasn't easily overcome.  I smiled thinking of her, but was reminded of her absence.  Time is passing, the clock is ticking... and shying away from her memories as the days roll by may distract me for a bit but EVERYTHING reminds me of her.  I talk about her almost every day.  And my heart still aches when I am faced with something physical she left behind... like her cancer herbs.

I do hope that her medicines can help someone in need.